Okay...so my girlfriend broke up with me on monday...what a way to start the week huh, been hell, no lie, I haven't eaten, i've barely slept and i've definitely missed more school then I ever should have allowed myself to. Everything has suffered and it feels like the end of the world, yes cliche as it sounds thats how I feel. I know too many would say oh well then she just wasn't good for you and that there is somebody else out there for you. That might be true but being that I was the one who drove us apart it kills me even more. For those of you who are nosey or what have you I did not cheat on her, I have problems with communication and wouldn't tell her much and would push her away when I got frustrated with life and would start pointless and stupid fights with her for no reason because I figured she would be there all the time...and now shes not...my stupid ability to not swallow my pride and be a better person pushed her away. For those of you who are also wondering I still love her and am going to fight until the end to get her back...so kinda like one of those dumb love movies, I still have faith.
But, I guess what I really wanted to talk about was the kind of people that seem to resurface in your life after you or your significant other decides a relationship has come to an end. This past week I've never felt so appreciated by all my friends and family and all the kind words that were said to me. A girl in my religion class whom I've hardly talked to tried very hard to help cheer me up the day after which was great. Friends at school and near home all seemed to rally around me and try to pick me up when I was as far down as I could possibly go. One guy in particular helped me in more ways then one and I can never explain in words what it meant to me.
But those aren't the ones I'm referring to, its amazing the moment that trouble comes into your life that the undesirables in your life seem to sense your anguish and latch onto it like a leech ready to such out every drop of blood...disgusting reference yes but hey whatcha gonna do...anyway, this week I got texts, facebook chat/messages, calls...from people I haven't talked to in years, many of them who I never wanted to talk to again! Ex's and friends who you just grow apart from and never really talk to about anything anymore. Everybody always has to make a comment about a break up, like some neon sign that says "TWO CENTS WORTH PLEASE" I don't know if it made me angry or just shocked...
Even though I know its been an extremely long and brutal week, I know the ones to come aren't going to be easy...just gotta remember, hope, and keep telling myself that good things are coming, and I just gotta stay strong until then.
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